Lifting An Elephant

When I was 16 years old God called me to serve him in full time vocational ministry. We are all called to full time Christian service, but God called me to service to Him as my career. It was a call that I attempt to evade for a very long time. But God, as He did Jonah, pursued me until I surrendered to His will. I was 19 at the time. It was July of 1997 when I finally began to walk the true path God had intended for me. It led me to Southern Wesleyan University, a place where I acquired a great education, built amazing life-long friendships, and of course found my bride. There has been much that has happen between those days and this one, too much to put into a single blog post. But there has been one feeling that has constantly following me along this path. A feeling of inadequacy.

I have constantly had to battle feeling like I just don't have what it takes to do amazing things for God and His kingdom. Sunday night I had a conversation with a friend that made me think about this feeling. That conversation has really changed my perspective. What I realized is that I have been right all along. I do not have what it takes. I, myself, am incapable of doing any thing significant. But so was Moses, who led thousands out of slavery that had encompassed them for hundreds of years. So was Peter, who was as imperfect as any follower of Christ to accept God's call. So was Paul, who admitted openly that he struggled with something that he wished so much he could control. The separation between these guys and You and I , is they realized much sooner that they were dependent on the only ability they really had. Availability. Available to God, in every sense of the phrase. Available to be shaped and molded. Available to be equipped and empowered. Some view their initial reluctance to serve God as disobedience. I'm not so sure that's always the case. I believe that many of the heroes of scripture were so completely insecure that they were certain the task was too large. They knew that God was the only source from which they could draw the power and wisdom needed to accomplish the task laid before them. Their reluctance serve was not rebellious disobedience, it was insecurity. But that insecurity led to humility, which led to dependence. Which led to greatness.

So, God has called me, and most likely you as well, to something we are certain we can not do. Realizing that fact is the first step to making it all happen!